Create Results: Manage Conflict

Conflict: What does that word mean to you? Whether in a war between countries or a difficult conversation in a marriage, conflict scares us. But conflict isn’t always the bear that needs to be avoided. When managed well, conflict can lead us to positive outcomes in the workplace.

There are as many different personalities in the world as there are people, but science has taught us that there are groups of personality types that we tend to identify with. At Balanced Culture Consulting we use the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and DiSC assessments to help leaders understand how people may react during conflict. 

Knowing and Being Known

People in general want to be understood or at least acknowledged for who we are. MBTI is a great shortcut in conflicts for helping all parties to feel known or understood. If we couple this with simple communication techniques, the path towards managing conflict is easier to take. 

When managing a team that has unexplained conflict, using the MBTI helps identify some triggers. For example, I used to manage an accounting team with vastly different personality types and more than our share of conflict. There were two in particular who bumped against each other on a regular basis. The more outgoing and social of the two would pop into the other’s office unannounced with a series of questions that needed immediate attention. The more reserved of the two would be so deep into her thoughts that the interruption felt like a personal affront. Using the MBTI to explain the difference between introversion and extraversion helped frame the experience from the others’ perspective and minimize the conflict.

From the Myers-Briggs perspective, the introverted accountant needs time alone with no interruptions to ensure quality work. Introverts go deep and it takes a great deal of energy to surface and interact with others. The extroverted payables clerk needed someone to talk to in order to think through problems. An extravert may come across as just social, but in reality, their brains work through problems in what we call “external processing.” Understanding these forces can pave the way for more productive interactions and get the best work out of everyone. 

Subconscious Stressors

When we encounter personalities or perspectives that are different from ours, a stress reaction can occur on a subconscious level. That’s why understanding our own triggers allows us to use our brains and choose how to act. Is it easy? No, in fact it’s one of the hardest things we can do, but it’s possible to tame that urge and create a new habit of response. Self awareness, also called emotional intelligence, is hard-won but worth the battle.

Listening 

Listening is the magic potion for diffusing conflict in others. When we seek to understand stressors in others, we gain greater clarity as to how to respond. The process may include asking questions using a technique known as appreciative inquiry. Or it could take the form of reflecting what you hear. Whatever your approach, it’s important to be present and genuine. And when we listen we give the other person a gift that allows space to gain a deeper understanding of themselves. 

Direct conversations

Many great leaders fail to guide an organization through productive conflict because they are avoiding their own discomfort. Whether fearing the messiness of feelings or a genuine desire to be positive, avoiding direct conversations can erode trust and productivity. By not conveying  important messages, others can think this lack of feedback equates to approval. The truth, however, is that accountability and productivity are sacrificed. Not a fair trade, wouldn’t you say?

With a little practice…

Leading effectively means knowing when to be diplomatic and direct, not stepping away from conflict but turning it into productive conversations. Leaders who master this art gain credibility and can sustain productivity like a well-oiled (or balanced) machine. At Balanced Culture Consulting we help you harness that conflict and get your culture back in balance. Stop by our website today to learn more, or send us an email info@balancedcultureconsulting.com to let us help you get back in balance.